Saturday, March 1, 2008' 1:18 PM
Hello everyone,life is so so so sad.and I think I cant cope with stress ):
Life is full of ups and downs.But come to think of it,I dont think I have any upssssssss.In a new sch, a new environment,I have to make friends again.but that's not the main point.It is just that I dont know who can be my true friend and who can I trust.Why does everyone seems to backstab one another?Its just so scary,dont you think so?I might be betrayed by my friend anytime,anywhere.I doubt I'll confide in any of my jc friends.Its too much of a risk.Maybe you will think I'm being too paranoid but its kinda true you know?I trust all my friends alot alot and I might just tell them everything about me.I really think everyone should have their own secrets so I should keep some too.Sometimes I really think I think too much but I just cant help it.Jealousy or more of a envy,you can say.I know I'm not talented,not smart,not good in everything.Your actions just made me feel that everyone is a cut above me.and I just cant help feeling that way.Its not just one reason why I'm sad.There are too many,everything just piled up.and sometimes thats why I dont know which of the reasons made me sad.It might be you,you or you.My brain is so tired of thinking anymore,I just want to find a hole and hide there forever.
Friends,school,promises,love and feelings.Way too complicated.I dont know whether I still can trust myself,my own feelings.I might be wrong too and it is why I'm so indecisive.I always regret my own decisons,making me afraid of trusting my own judgement.Empty promises,I dont like that too.I'm so sick of life,the way it is.There is no forever in the world.You might say you like me today but the very next,you might forget all about it.I want to find someone who would appreciate my laughter and the way I am.
kct
